There is a brief time as a parent when you are a god to your children. The sun rises and sets on us because our children are completely dependent. Feels kinda nice.
It's a blessing to see our children become more independent but my heart contracts a little as they venture further and further from our arms. I try to keep in mind that it's my job as a parent to raise independent and responsible thinkers.
However proud I am of my children, I'm never completely prepared for the next step. Sometimes the next step seems like a leap into the abyss and sometimes they have reached the other side shockingly quick. It's an endless tug of war with my heart. Fortunately my husband rolls his eyes at me and supports the little munchkins to spread their wings and think for themselves.
The godlike adoration phase passes quickly, sometimes a little too quickly and we never know the direction their growing awareness will travel.
Years ago, when my oldest was in grade one I was helping him with homework. He asked me yet again, "What is the answer?"
My reply was a consistent and thoughtful "Hmmm, I don't know. What do you think?"
After weeks of this and yet another evasive reply my son turned to me. His eyes were full of a mix of adoration and pity as he politely stated....
"Mom, you're really nice but you're not very smart."